Feel free to explore my book on dysfunctional romantic relationships, overcome relationship repetition syndrome and find the love you. Can people with borderline personality disorder really love someone. Loving someone with borderline personality disorder. People with borderline personality disorderexperience such violent and frightening mood swingsthat they often fear for their sanity. They can beeuphoric one moment, despairing and depressed thenext. And with bpd, neurologically, the part of our brain that regulates all of our emotions is not working properly, so i would assume that theoretically, those with bpd can easily fall in love, but unlike most people who end up falling in love, those with bpd can easily fall out of love because of that. When a person with the borderline personality disorder. I may be in the minority here, but i hate this book. Its stance on those who deal with bpd is far from empathetic rather, it perpetuates this myth that all people with bpd are ridiculous and borderlinedangerous individuals who care only for themselves. Free download or read online i hate you, dont leave me. Publishers love to put shocking titles on their books to attract readership of the. Released in 1991, i hate you, dont leave me was one of the first books to take a comprehensive look at bpd. They can be euphoric one moment, despairing and depressed the enxt.
Its because of something called splitting in which a person with borderline such as myself lack a greyzone. I need the intensity of these relationships, i need to feel the powerful emotions, negative or positive, that accompany them. Girl, interrupted by susanna kaysen, i hate you, dont leave me. Doesnt give you the right to throw your fucking temper on everyone else.
Dont get me wrong, i love her mafia dark books, but i really enjoyed this one. Caring about someone with borderline personality disorder bpd tosses you on a roller coaster ride from being loved and lauded to abandoned and bashed. I know that the same part of the brain that regulates hate and love are the same. Why does my husband who has borderline personality. I recently found out an acquaintance had been diagnosed as being bipolar. Understanding the borderline personality pdf epub book. After two decades, it has been a labor of love to revisit our work and update. I love you, but i hate you, but i need you audiobook by.
Kreisman, md, is a psychiatrist and leading expert on borderline personality disorder. Understanding the borderline personality, by jerold j. As the 29year old accountant, wife, and mother of young children would soon discover, it was the diagnosis that finally explained her explosive anger, manipulative behaviors, and selfdestructive episodes including bouts of anorexia, substance abuse, and. Moreover, selfhate and fear is at the core of those diagnosed, so with all these roadblocks, can they even know or feel what love really is. The borderline dance of, i hate you, dont leave me is a very painful dynamic for the borderline and the nonborderline partner to be in. Perhaps you have been lucky enough in love that this scenario, familiar to all too many of us. Borderline patients and their loved ones, especially, viewed the book as disturbing and hopeless, emphasizing as it did the dismal prognosis of the disorder at the. The first edition of the novel was published in 1989, and was written by jerold j. I hate you dont leave me, understanding the borderline. The book was published in multiple languages including english, consists of 224 pages and is available in paperback format. Within this audiobook, youll find an honest portrait of what its like to live with bpd, from the perspective of people with bpd and their loved ones spouses, siblings, and parents, as well as mental health professionals. His books, i hate you, dont leave me, and sometimes i act crazy.
This lovehate borderline behavioral pattern should help to explain how any therapist can be the most dearest of therapists, and then a short time later, be the most hated. Although written some time ago, it reads well and is authoritative. I have read it several times and refer back to it if you have bpd, know someone who has or if you recognise someone you know from the title alone i hate you, dont leave me. Hal straus is a professional health and medical writer who has penned five books. Understanding the borderline personality by jerold j. I hate you, dont leave me mass market paperback february 1, 1991. Kreisman and hal straus this is a definitive guide on borderline personality disorder.
Caring about someone with borderline personality disorder bpd tosses you on a roller coaster ride from being loved and lauded to abandoned and. Borderline personality disorder the infidelity recovery. A comprehensive introduction to borderline personality disorder. No regrets i hate people with borderline personality. Can people with borderline personality disorder really. Buy a cheap copy of i hate you, dont leave me book by jerold j. The price of loving someone borderline or narcissistic. The main characters of this psychology, non fiction story are.
After more than two decades as the essential guide to borderline personality disorder bpd, this new edition now reflects the most up todate research that has opened doors to the neurobiological, genetic, and developmental roots of the disorder as well as connections between bpd and. As i often hear in success stories like the ones i shared last week, this change in attitude. Doesnt give you the right to expect more love and more sympathy from anyone. Rosss first book, the human magnet syndrome sold over 50k copies and is published in french, spanish and soon in czech. I completely understand your wanting to know why this person does what they do and the meaning behind the behavior. The love hate relationship for borderlines discussing. So its called stop walking on eggshells, taking your life back when someone you care about has borderline personality disorder. But when you have the knowledge you need, the awareness of whats really going on especially beneath the surface, the attitude that borderlines love well, good things happen. The essential family guide to borderline personality disorder. For many people with borderline, out of sight, out of mind is an excruciatingly real truism.
Kreisman and hal straus 1991, paperback at the best online prices at ebay. The other extremely good book is called stop walking on eggshells and this is a book for families, friends, for people that love or care about someone who has a borderline personality disorder. You live in unbearable psychic pain most of the time and in. The love you hate you dont leave me cycle is addictive. I hate youdont leave me was the first book to introduce bpd to the public. Panic sets in when they are separated from a loved one because the separation feels permanent, said jerold j. After more than two decades as the essential guide to borderline personality disorder bpd, this new edition now reflects the most up todate research that has opened doors to the neurobiological, genetic, and developmental roots of the disorder as. It uses phrases like, the borderline does this and the bordline feels this throughout. Borderline personality disorder inside out podcast with. Understanding the borderline personality 1991 about book. Guilt and the borderline mother or wife or daughter or. I got this book at the library, and lo and behold found out that having a borderline personality is a similar but not same diagnosis as bipolar. I hate youdont leave me is an extremely helpful introduction to bpd and a wonderful overview of the borderline world for someone new to it, whether a patient seeking more understanding of what is happening to them or a family member trying to relate to this frustrating and confusing disorder. Whether you re a student of psychology, a practicing therapist, a borderline struggling to stop the pain, or a family member or relationship partner of a borderline, you will find i hate you, dont leave me, an informative, helpful resource in stopping the pain of this terrible disorder.
It doesnt take much for a person to split, but when the pe. Doesnt give you the right to cry victim and blame everything on others but yourself. Whether youre a student of psychology, a practicing therapist, a borderline struggling to stop the pain, or a family member or relationship partner of a borderline, you will find i hate you, dont leave me, an informative, helpful resource in stopping the pain of this terrible disorder. Kreisman explains that borderline personality disorder is a serious mental health condition which occurs when a child with sensory processing differences such as those associated with autism, adhd, or learning delays also encounters consistent. There are an estimated 10 million sufferersof bpd living in america today each displayingremarkably similar symptoms. It doesnt mean that the therapist is actually wonderful or horrible. Plus the partner is usually idolized or the opposite in a matter of seconds. He contributes regularly for psychology today and is in private practice in st. It is important to gain awareness and understanding of this in order to seek help and to have an opportunity to change this dynamic before your relationship is lost to it. Louis university and has been designated a distinguished life fellow of the american psychiatric association. I would say no, since they usually drift in and out of love.
In this unique collection, individuals of all ages and stages share their experiences with borderline personality disorder bpd. Borderlines behavior is also incompatible with loving and stable relationships. In i hate you dont leave me, the classic book on borderline personality disorder, the authors state, the borderline shifts her personality like a rotating kaleidoscope, rearranging the fragmented glass of her being into different formations like a chameleon, she transforms herself into any shape that she imagines will please the. Remember the angst, the banter and the witty dialogue. A revised and updated edition of the bestselling guide to understanding borderline personality disorder. This lovehate behavioral pattern is a symptom of bpd. This book reinforces stereotypes and stigma, and is misinformative for the lay person trying to learn more to help loved ones. Doesnt give you the right to selectively only remember things that are good for you.